Feelings of Invisibility

This is a post from another blog I have. I think it works here as well. 

-Paul 

Not so long ago I read Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. Interesting... No, it is not about some superhero. It is about a guy who is invisible to the larger society. He's a ghost of a man. We never learn the main character's  name through the whole book, just a few aliases he uses from time to time. This guy turns this invisibility to his advantage, but not in such a way that makes him happy. I, as a handicapped person, also find myself invisible sometimes.

We have rules and guidelines for how to treat the disabled, and I cannot help but wonder f they do more harm than good. For example, does the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) actually make it harder for people with disabilities to get jobs? The ADA was passed in 1990. Unemployment for the disabled is still abysmal by any standard. It is almost double the rate of the non-disabled. I'm asking the question in all honesty. I could see where potential employers would shy away from hiring someone with disabilities BECAUSE of this law. Read it will cost more money. Just being able to get around is another barrier. In my limited experience the USA is the best place I've been as far as accessibility is concerned. But it varies from state to state. Too many places take a minimalist approach. For example, a strip shopping center with a ramp at one end (along with a lone handicapped parking space). This kinda sucks for someone with limited mobility. This represents being further disabled by society. We are talking about a large chunk of the US population, 23% according to this article. That's like one out of every five people! Where are they? I think a part of the problem is the expectations are set so low for too many. I was taught I could do anything I want. I took the lesson seriously, and now I work full time, blog sometimes and write books in my free time. I should be the rule and not the exception. What I mean is every so called disabled person should have every opportunity to live life to it's fullest potential free from physical and social barriers. I'm thankful for those who have struggled for me so I was not institutionalized at a young age. We still have a very long way to go.

I'm hopeful the invisibility spell is slowly fading away. Technology helps. I don't have to look for a job that involves hard physical labor. I can do plenty of stuff via computer (like blogging). But technology alone will not change much. People with disabilities need to self-advocate. Society at large needs to recognize and encourage everyone to live to their full potential. This cannot be done via legislation alone. We collectively need to build more avenues of inclusion, involvement, and equality. I'll do my part through writing and speaking up. What about you?          

How being handicapped taught me to be positive.

Perhaps I could have kept myself in-doors and applied for disability. Collect a check and become an overweight couch potato waiting to simply vapor lock one day? Nah, there’s too much to do! I could be all negative dwelling in my own suffering but that would lead to fewer dates and no friends. Besides, being all negative and sour takes way too much energy. Think about it. Throwing stuff, hitting walls doors and tables takes a lot out of you. Not to mention, raises your blood pressure and scares most pets. In my experience at the end of such an episode the problem is still sitting there laughing at me even louder. So I calm the hell down and solve that sucker. Yes, it is easier and healthier to skip the tantrum and get on with the problem solving. Call that lesson one.

Sometimes, a problem is bigger than I can deal with and I need a hand. (Don’t we all??) It is cool to ask for help but you need to be polite and courteous. In all of my years in asking for a hand I’ve only had one dude respond with a no… sort of. I asked this cat in the grocery store to get something that was out of reach for me and he responded ” … I don’t work here.” Okay… so I asked another person and got my item. Took the poor fella by surprise I guess! I usually DO ask employees rather than put somebody on the spot but there were none around! Was he an asshole? Probably not but who knows? People ask me from time to time if I need any help and if I do not, rather than get all offended, I say “no but thanks!” If one is offended by an offer to help, perhaps they need to lighten up. I think it is up to me to ask and not up to you to guess if I or another disabled person needs a hand (but I’m cool with it if you do). After years of experience, I’m not afraid to talk to people, even complete strangers. Problems are sometimes bigger than I am but I’ve not found one that cannot be solved with the love and kindness we all carry. Lesson two shall we say?

How many handicapped people (physical as well as mental) do you see as you go through your day? I’m here. Where in the hell are the rest? There are those whose handicap cannot be seen such as the Vet with PTSD just trying to get through the day. Have some of the others learned dependence and a sense of shame? What can we do differently? Perhaps that’s a whole other entry. I’m here but there are times I feel invisible. I’m in the group but feeling as an outsider looking in. Sometimes, I’m talked “at” instead of “with” by people. They make assumptions like because I’m physically handicapped; I’m mentally handicapped as well. People’s reactions are funny. Being sort of invisible has its up sides as well. I think I learn a lot by just watching and listening. I’m not a physical threat to anyone so there is no I’m a bigger badass than you crap. I hope I’ve learned to listen more and talk less. Listening leads to healing and I’d rather be a healer than a badass any day. Let’s call this last lesson turning weaknesses and disadvantages into their opposites.

Thanks for reading and if you like I’ll write more! If you don’t, I’ll write more anyway!